You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
