Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
love makes seman taste better
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
