we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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