I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Congratulations! We have a period
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