dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
