he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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