dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Randomize
