I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
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Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
