Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
