I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
