like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
