i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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