I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
