I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
