I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You can't motorboat a personality
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
