So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
