i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
