Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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