At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize