69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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