i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
