We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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