im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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