there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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