Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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