I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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