I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
