whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
