In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
