What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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