In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
