escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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