I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
