break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
