and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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