Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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