She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
