Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I need a hoe opinion
go on
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
