remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
