ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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