god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
