I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
