I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
pray to the hookup gods
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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