I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
