you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
