Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
