he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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