If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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