I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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