remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
