Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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