i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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