There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
