Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
